Calling All Ninauposkitzipxpe Intersex Impoverished With Pronouns: Fae/faer/faers

San Francisco Has A G.I.F.T. For You

So last month word spread like wildfire around the traditional nudist trans-affirming BLM activist Antifa autonomous zone trailer park you live in, along with other Gender Outlaws, that a charming life awaits in San Francisco, City By the Bay, Land of Equity, where every trans-racial clump of cells is either aborted or affirmed as the Sistergirl-Brotherboy-Butch-Aggressive-Genderfluid Ve/ver/vis that they/them/theirs are. Making a new start of it, and running alongside the nearest and slowest West-bound train you can find, with a glint of hope in your eye and a fire-hot passion for Justice in your empty soul, you set your T4T Graygender Two-Spirit self/selves off to the Land of Plenty and Promise… you and thousands of other Pacific Islander-identifying queer, perhaps Muxe, hope-starved Neutrois Brown University seventh-year undergraduates from all over the country.

“Go West Young Transman!”

Disappointed that Mayor London Breed missed your Aromantic rail arrival, you and the flea-bitten demisexual dog you bathe more often than your skoliosexual self set upon finding a home commune and a free-form non-dairy coffeeshop high-paying union barista job, or, if the money’s better, putting your government-provided cell phone to good use making tips as a Grindr escort, because they’re unionized too. “Surely,” all one of yourselves figured, “the Golden State would welcome a highly-educated pansexual Spiritual African Studies major Machi-embra Winkte like us/them/me/we/xyrs with open arms!”

But you quickly come face-to-tattooed-phases-of-the-moon-face with the rampant oppression against Stud Pangender Nadleehi Maverique polyamorous professional sex workers that dominates life among the white patriarchal cis-gender hate-spewing billionaire high-tech code-writing racist bigots of San Francisco! Unable to make ends meet, you/yourselves and a few fellow (Hey! That’s transphobe!) Tida wena Chibados walk right past the straight Black security guard (don’t worry, he’s from Oakland), shoplift a Best Buy for an under-$1,000 iPad, and proudly set about applying online for a G.I.F.T.

That’s right: a G.I.F.T.

As in: The Guaranteed Income for Trans People (GIFT) Program. Along with “The Abundant Birth Project” which guarantees income to Black and Pacific Islander “pregnant people,” (That’s me!) and “The Guaranteed Income Pilot for Artists Program,” (You know it!) all one of yourselves figured this was not only a quick buck but by right! it was sticking it to the cis-man and grabbing hold of what’s his yours theirs!

You can get pregnant as easy as the next dude, so why not? And obviously you and your assigned-male-at-birth Kathoey life partner will only breastfeed! You qualify for all three!! Artist? Must they/them/xem even question it!?? You minored in (pass/fail ungraded) Caribbean Indigenous Fire-Making Villager Painting! You’d be a shoe-in if you wore them, and this IS San Francisco, you reminded yourselves… Specifically “The Transgender District!”

“Oh, this San Francisco is heaven,” you thought, (if only you believed in God.)

The opening paragraph of the ten-page application reads:

Lyon-Martin Community Health Services & The Transgender District, in partnership with the Mayor’s Office of Trans Initiatives, the San Francisco Treasury, and the Mayor’s Office of Housing & Community Development is proud to present the first Guaranteed Income Program specifically for Transgender people. GIFT is a financial assistance program for low-income Transgender, Non-Binary, Gender Non-Conforming, and Intersex (TGI) people who reside in the City and County of San Francisco, CA. This program is currently only available for those 18 years of age and older.

Allied and adjacent, and very pissed at the ageist bias right there written in black and white (Racist!), themselves scan the rest of the text and are pulled like a magnet to: “will provide $1,200.00 for 18 months.” Not only will they not be pressured to make money, they’ll GET PAID to NOT make money. So reads the second paragraph:

If enrolled, the City and County of San Francisco will provide $1,200.00 per month to those who maintain eligibility for the program for 18 months. Eligibility is determined based on multiple factors including city of residence, income, priority population, and availability of funds. You may use the funds to pay for anything. The only additional requirement to stay enrolled in the program is the completion of a survey every 3 months.

“…pay for anything.” Needles, drugs, tourniquets, tent, sleeping bag, dog food. (Oh wait… I can just shoplift those.) This is the LIFE! Why didn’t all them of you and the dog hop a train sooner?! But damn! We don’t believe in picture ID’s, part of the plan to deny the vote to people of color!

Don’t sweat the small stuff:

Cementing the suspicion that life is dreamy in San Fran, the application continues…

“Oh thank goodness we/they can write in OUR pronouns. This place might not be as inclusive as we thought, but it’s go with the flow time.”

Only 97 to choose from:

and…

We’ll amuse the racists who would stifle us….

You cooperate with the forces of oppression and hit the send button. If you just wait it out a bit longer, the city of San Francisco will be putting you up in a 5-Star hotel….

Just give it a few more days.

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